Jean Shirley, a Law Assistant with the Family Court Program (Left) and former client, Bonfrida Kakwaya, have much to smile about now that Bonfrida and her children are together and safe in her new country.
Bonfrida Kakwaya spent her childhood in the lush and green lakeside village of Goma in the North of Congo DRC, Africa. The oldest of nine children, she was never at a loss for a playmate or someone with which to share a laugh. At 14, all of that changed. Civil War brought terror and danger to her village and to her family, and Bonfrida was forced to flee her home and begin a cycle of continuous uprooting and uncertainty.
She sought refuge in the home of a pastor and within a year, she fell in love with and married a local man named Benjamini. The couple moved to Bukavu to live with Benjamin’s parents, but they made it clear that they did not approve of Bonfrida and soon became cold and unwelcoming.
After about a year, they moved on to Uvira, and had their first child, Tunda Christian. A year later, civil war followed the young family, and they escaped to Burundi, a landlocked country located in east-central Africa. Here, they were welcomed by another pastor, but after only six months they moved yet again to a refugee camp in Tanzania.
Tanzania is considered among many foreigners to be an ‘African Eden’ of natural riches with its vast plains, plush forests, high-peaked mountains, and free-ranging wildlife – a favorite destination for tourists and safari-seekers. Unfortunately, this description did not fit the backdrop of the refugee camp.
Bonfrida and her family spent six years at the camp, surrounded largely by desert, dust and stifling heat. Food and water was scarce and there was no medical care. They had no means of communication with their family members who were scattered across the continent. Every day, refugees poured in from all over Africa – Somalia, Rwanda, Congo – and ethnic groups who, on the ‘outside’ waged war, were forced to crowd side by side in their tiny hand-made homes.
All support and goods were provide by the UN and humanitarian groups, including security by guards who did their best to quell violence between ethnic groups. To the refugees, these conditions were highly preferable to the noise, destruction, and personal danger that faced them in their war-torn villages. Bonfrida and her husband brought three more children, Stani Juma; Leontina Benjamin; and Debora Yangwa into a world where they could at least “enjoy a safe and peaceful night’s sleep.
The couple’s relationship deteriorated under the stress of camp life, and Benjamini became abusive. In 2008, Bonfrida decided to apply to the UN Higher Commission for Refugees to seek asylum for herself and her children in one of the countries that had a refugee resettlement program. She was one of the lucky few, as she convinced the commission that at the camp she faced continued domestic and ethnic danger and her application to resettle in the US was approved. Although Bonfrida and Benjamini had been separated during their last months in Africa, out of expedience, they emigrated together.
The family was assigned to the capable care of Agnes Kariuki, a caseworker and family counselor from Syracuse’s Center for New Americans run by the Interfaith Works for Central NY. Agnes, originally an elementary school teacher in Kenya, Africa, holds a bachelor’s degree from the Catholic University of Eastern Africa and a master’s degree in pastoral counseling from Loyola University in Chicago. Agnes has brought her training in psychology and her deep rootedness in spirituality together to be a dedicated and highly effective advocate and friend for the past 6 years, to hundreds of grateful, struggling refugees.
Agnes and her fellow caseworkers, under the able leadership of the center’s director, Helen Malina, are charged with the daunting job of providing refugees with goods and services such as airport transportation on arrival; search for apartments and furnishings; interpretation; adjustment orientation programs and counseling; and registration for public assistance, schools, and social security programs.
Bonfrida began to share more intimate details of her abuse during family counseling sessions, and they all agreed that the couple should separate permanently. All parties entered into a verbal agreement that Benjamin would have custodial care of their two sons and Bonfrida, of the two daughters.
Benjamin moved to Virginia with the boys and in September 2009, he came to Syracuse to pick up the girls for a one month visit. However, instead of returning the girls, Benjamin filed in Virginia courts for full custody of the four children. All of Bonfrida’s fear and suffering in the face of a brutal war did not compare to the panic and isolation she felt when presented with the possibility of losing her children.
A fellow refugee and friend had obtained a divorce with the help of Hiscock Legal Aid, and urged Bonfrida to seek our assistance. Jean Shirley, Family Court Law Assistant, and Senior Attorney, Rupak Shah worked tirelessly to reunite Bonfrida with her children. As a result, the New York and Virginia Family Courts agreed to hear the case locally. Benjamin and the children returned to Syracuse and Bonfrida was awarded full custody.
Bonfrida has travelled halfway around the globe to find a welcoming community; effective and helpful organizations; and caring individuals, who listen, empathize, take action, and encourage her to demand the dignity, respect, and peace of mind she deserves. She characterizes HLAS as, “A place where people are cared for,” and one to which she “will remain ever grateful.”
The future is bright for her and her family. They are in a new apartment, the children are doing well in school, and she gave birth to her fifth child. Bonfrida’s beautiful smile reflects her sense of pride and hope, but there is a tinge of concern in her eyes.
While she likes it here and she looks forward to forging a safe and productive life for herself and her children, she worries about the people she left behind in a land whose beauty and resources have been brutally ravaged by war, and who struggle with the physical and emotional scars of unending poverty, hunger, and rape.
Bonfrida sends what little money she can spare to her family in Africa, as a few dollars are viewed as a fortune there. She plans to continue her education and work to share the plight of her people with all who will listen.
She escaped the physical dangers of war in her homeland, but she admits she is now faced with, “A mental war of adjusting to the culture, language, and laws of her new home.” But she quickly adds, “This mental war is one I would much prefer to fight.”
One she hopes to help others fight as well. “My prayer,” Bonfrida says, “is to do what Agnes does.”
Our thanks to Agnes Kariuki for acting as interpreter for this article to ensure the depth of detail and accurateness of Bonfrida’s compelling story.